We generally believe that our personality is something that is outside of our control. That it was determined by fate or circumstances or something like that.
The reality is that, as we grew up, we allowed external influences to determine how our personality was moulded. Some of it was the result of copying one or more role models while some was a defensive mechanism developed to cope with stresses we faced. These influences were placed upon us in layers - from family members, from the community we grew up in, from the schools we went to, from our workplaces, from the neighbourhood we live in... all these external factors have contributed towards what we allowed ourselves to become.
The truth is that we can have complete control over what we are and how we choose to be. We can address and overcome the influences of growing up and become our own persons, stop blaming external factors for what we are. Knowing that you can determine what your personality should be, you can consciously work towards becoming a better person.
This is not something that can be achieved overnight. It will take effort and determination. But ultimately, we will be the biggest beneficiaries of our internal transformation.
