My problem with resolutions is that they’re too resolute. Too fixed and rigid, for a life that is in constant flow.
It’s why the ‘push to failure’ theory can only exist in the gym; It works for strength training but not for flexibility. (I’ll flesh this thought out further in my next entry)
Resolutions demand a certainty of transformation on a schedule, which is just counterproductive. When trying to create new habits or work towards a goal, what we need is rhythm, a steady pulse that keeps us on track. Pressure only sets us up for failure when we inevitably buckle from the top heavy weight that it places on us.
I feel like I say this every new year, but when my cousin sent me an excerpt from Suleika Jaouad’s The Isolation Journals, I was reminded how important it is to keep repeating this narrative (but also put it into simpler terms to better facilitate understanding). Suleika’s The Five Lists prompt brilliantly captures this.
She calls them a ritual, I call them reflection prompts; call it what you want as long as you don’t make them resolute.
Reflections allow us the space to grow and rightfully change, along with the flow of time and life. It doesn’t ask us for promises that we cannot guarantee to keep, instead it just asks for presence and return.
The Five Lists is like scaffolding, structure that allows us to build from the ground up. This year, I am meeting myself where I am and allowing the rest to unfold from there.
So, Happy New Year! And in 2026, I wish you a return to self. Show up, see what’s there, then adjust.
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